A necessary conversation about diet culture and weight loss
For a long time, I have sat by watching the Body Positive, Intuitive Eating, and HAES movement criticize and ostracize individuals who believe that weight loss is a viable option in their life.
I have watched movements become more "exclusive," seemingly focused more on who doesn't belong because they don't 100% fall in line with established group-thought norms. I have wondered, "Where do where I BELONG? I, being more concerned with individuals being empowered to find their OWN path to liberation, instead of conforming to fit into popular ones."
I have been (relatively) quiet about this matter for a few reasons. The main being, in the past, I have wanted everyone to like me; a fear of being disliked had always made me self-abandon and "morph" into what other people needed me to be. I ignored my own truths in order to be who people needed me to be - that was how I found my own sense of value.
That being said, I'm now in a place where I am no longer concerned if people like me or not - I am more concerned about being a decent and empathetic human being who is comfortable with "nuance" and confident in herself.
I am stepping up to say that I will be using my voice to create a dialog around the idea of separating Diet Culture from weight loss, and differentiating between Diet Culture, Weight Loss, and Personal Transformation in general.
This will not be the sole focus of my content, but you will see me starting to do this. My main mission will always be to show people how to live a self-loving life, and to create a size-inclusive space for those who have felt unrepresented in the personal growth movement.
There are hundreds of thousands, if not millions of heavier people who have been told to "just go on a diet" or, those who have pursued a diet in the hopes of simply being emotionally happier. Except we know that diets aren't a magic solution. WE DESERVE PERSONAL GROWTH SPACES WHERE THE FEARS, HOPES, AND DREAMS OF THOSE WHO STRUGGLE WITH THEIR WEIGHT ARE SEEN AND NOT DISMISSED. We deserve to pursue spiritual growth and personal transformation, respected at EVERY size.
WE DESERVE PERSONAL GROWTH SPACES WHERE THE FEARS, HOPES, AND DREAMS OF THOSE WHO STRUGGLE WITH THEIR WEIGHT ARE SEEN AND NOT DISMISSED. We deserve to pursue spiritual growth and personal transformation, respected at EVERY size.
That being said, there are people for whom a reduction in body weight would dramatically improve their quality of life, and remove their body from pain. (I know this because I am one. In my mid 20's and early 30's, my weight did not press on my knees and constantly hurt my back -- as I got older, it started to hurt more and more. If this is my experience, I know it belongs to others as well…)
So what is a person to do if they both want to find self-love and acceptance NOW and also know they want to create change in their body size? What MOVEMENT embraces those of us in this position?
None.
And so I will create this space.
Welcome to my house.
A place where one can emotionally focus on their personal and spiritual growth, and also be allowed to undertake conscious weight loss as one of many tools a person can use to improve their quality of life.
Let me be very clear. I absolutely believe in the importance of movements like HAES, Body Positivity, and Intuitive Eating. I absolutely believe that the system of diet culture is dangerous and insidious. Let me also be very clear about this - I absolutely do NOT believe that pursuing weight loss as a way to make oneself emotionally happier, is ever going to be a healthful solution.
That being said...
My reality, and the reality of women like me, should not be a threat to those who have a different lived body experience. There is room for ALL of us to feel empowered and self-loving.
Liberation is not "one experience fits all" and it is time we start allowing some grey in this very "black and white" conversation.
I'll hold down this fort.
And if people dislike me for it? I'm cool with that.
I speak for myself. And, in my heart, I know that I speak for MILLIONS of women, probably in their late 30's, 40's and 50's, who are just like me -- learning to be happy on OUR terms, learning to find greater health within our body, and learning how to LIVE a life that brings us joy.
You can count on me to be comfortable having the sticky conversations. I’ll admit when I am wrong, and keep an open mind.
It’s time to create a new movement. It’s time to carve more space for more people to find empowerment.
Let’s do it.
xx
Sarah